giving you up

At some point I knew I had to give you up.  I’m scared to, but it’s something I’m sorry to deem as inevitable.  Is it because of the fright I feel when you have nothing in reply, or the constant cycle of pain and hope that my day shouldn’t be complete because I haven’t seen you at all? I don’t know what to feel but fear and loneliness, and I know that this will go around and around until I tell myself to stop.

I wish you knew how it felt to be at the losing end.  I wish you knew how it felt to deal with knowing that you will never know, or the fact that you always feel that you could never say the right words to make this all better? You should know how it feels, but then again, you wouldn’t do anything in your power to change all that.  It sucks to know that you can never feel the way I do, and I promised myself that I shouldn’t invest in feelings as deep as this, but I can’t help it.  You have all the things I want in someone, and letting you go is something I can never forgive myself for doing in the long run.  What we had, albeit short, was something I could never forget, even if you had done so constantly.

The one thing I wish you could remember is the fact that I am still here, hoping and begging that you would at last pop out one of these days, that I would feel the same feeling I felt whenever I see you.  This is a point where I just want to keep you close to me because I hate losing the one thing that matters to me now, even if you will never feel the same way about me.

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2 thoughts on “giving you up

  1. And if love were to find a way, it would be all ways. Beyond time and place, love would find a reason to stay. It would not be born of necessity or pity, but of the light that nourishes the loved one to bloom into the wonder he or she was truly meant to be.

    Be not consumed by grief. Be not condemned to silence. Be not restricted by pride. Smile and hold your head up high. You had the courage to give someone a part of your life.

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