and I will wait to find if this will last forever

 

The familiarity enveloped me as I stared up at the infinite that was the sky.  I was lying down and I was staring at the stars sparkle and as the night aged, I did think of you again.  It never occurred to me that I will again but I never knew spoken word could mean so much.  It was hard enough looking for you in the crowd because you were always gone and the minute I see you with your quiet smile, I tend to think that I never intended for this all to happen.

To be affected by so much familiarity that I find it so hard to let you go even if I did promise myself I would, and I had.  Never had I been so caught off guard with memories of you, the words I wrote for you, and the fresh scent that I know to be you when you come walking by.  This was never meant to be, I swear to you, and I asked the Fates for you.  I did ask because I wanted to know, or so I did.

Maybe the reason why I was so into finding out about my “love life” through fortunes, through websites, or through other kinds of predictions was because I never really wanted my own self to admit it: that I didn’t need anyone telling me we weren’t meant to be because we never were.  Had I applied my lesson on never falling for infatuation again, this wouldn’t have happened.

But the words are with you now as I write this and even if you could tell it was me, I wish for you to realize that I mean every single word I say and losing you would be something that won’t sink in just yet.

Sorry.

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