There are times when I simply look at you and say, “why does someone like you exist?” It was never really about those moments where we’d only look at each other and we’d know. Do you know the secret I could never tell you, the secret of knowing what I feel about you? Every day, in some way or another, you always come find me when I start to feel like I’m losing the feelings of caring about your day, whether you come online or not, or basically just even seeing you around. Is it terrible to say that I miss moments like those, miss the moments where you’re just simply there.
When I feel like it would have been great for me to just say to myself, “let go. He isn’t going to reciprocate anything back.” What is about the loneliness that brings me back to you? But you have given me hope: all that there is to in believe in this Christmas. You have given me so much reason to have you only in moments, because I could feel my heart grow fonder for you as each day passes.
And while it may hurt, it’s all right. I’m used to it.