more than words

They say, “actions speak louder than words.” I found that hard to believe at first glance, knowing that it would have been much easier to put myself out of misery and false hope and tell you directly how I felt about you.  If it weren’t for the barrier between us, I would do so right away.  No questions asked.

But not in this reality.  Why is it so hard for me to tell you instead of showing you? Does it really mean more when I do things to concretize the feelings I feel for you rather than put them in words? Why do we find ourselves searching for a more concrete form of abstract things? Why had we not concretized them in the first place?

Because, we have different meanings for these words.  These words may mean the same thing in the dictionary, but to most of us, they don’t.  And maybe because I try so hard to tell you in letter, in rhyme, in prose how I feel but I can’t.

I turn red instead.

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