it’s just the nearness of you

I beg you to let go.  Let go of me.  Missing you is something I cannot stomach and the mere feeling of it makes me sick.  It’s bad enough I have you in my head for so long, and now you want to cling to me like a lost soul.  I’m not one for lost ghosts because I’m always with the people who make me feel alive.  But why won’t you hold me like you should? I’m tired of everything and anything right now, what more can I take without the feeling of you or even you just close by? I need to know that you’ll be there for me.  That you’ll be someone I can hold onto and say, “Don’t let go.”

But thinking that makes me sick.  I’ve said that too many times.  When have I ever needed someone like you, or anyone for that matter when for nineteen years of my life, I’ve never needed this much.  But you aren’t lost. You’re just a perception to me.  You exist in my reality.

Six months.

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