safety in the vastness of you

Do I dare to dream that you hold me in your arms, tightly, in the most rational way possible? I look at you and you always have a smile on your face, and I feel the pain.  The pain of knowing that you will never, ever know what it means to hold you close, or to feel the radiance of the curve of your smile.

I know what it means to have my guard up.  I know what it means to tell you enough is enough.  I know what it means to protect myself, to shield my own sanity from the words of the false witnesses, the words of songs meant to play with the delicate, sensitive strings of my heart.  But when I take one look at you and I know you’re there, leaning casually on the caverns, I know that I don’t need to hold myself back from wanting you, from feeling you in this tight, no-holds-barred, atmosphere.

If you knew the meaning behind the words I tell you, would you know then that I wanted you?

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